My thoughts exactly

The hilarious genius of Bill Watterson strike once again. The last panel expresses the conflict of my thoughts exactly haha.

For Kris

Thanks!

Days like yesterday make me long for Wal-Mart. I spent the better part of 2 hours wandering around various markets and shopping areas here in Kuwait city shopping for of all things, laundry detergent. My hotel being a 5-star, charges outrageous prices for all of the little services such as laundry. It’d cost me almost $3.50 for them to wash a T-shirt, $0.75 for a pair of socks, it’s crazy. But in the crew lounge that they reserve for airline flight crews, there is a washer and dryer so I went out to find some detergent.

I started by asking my new friends, the Filipino girls who pretty much run everything at the hotel and they all looked at me funny when I said I wanted to do my own laundry. Nonetheless they directed me to try a few certain markets and places so I wandered off to try my luck. Everywhere that I went I was greeted with the same skeptical looks and quizzical questions from shopkeepers. “You want what? Why do you want it? Are you sure you want it? What will you do with it?”

Finally I found a big box of Tide for about $5 and took it back to the hotel. A couple of the girls came over as I walked in the door, they were smiling their big Filipino smiles and then when they saw that I had indeed bought laundry soap, they all started chattering excitedly among themselves in Tagalog and pointing at it. They seemed rather surprised that the overpaid American was actually going to go through with it and do his own laundry. I’ve just been wondering over and over again when I see things, “What the hell is wrong with this place?”

It’s not all bad though, there was a very exciting wedding the other night. I’d never seen an Egyptian wedding, it was crazy! And because I was dressed nicely and had been chit-chatting with a lot of the guests hanging around the lobby, they invited me along. It was a really charged atmosphere with a band consisting of 5 or 6 guys beating these different kinds of drums, a guy on a soprano sax, and another guy playing what looked like sawed off clarinet with a trumpet bell. But together it all blended into that magical Middle Eastern sound as they wandered around the lobby with all of the party guests loudly sounding their traditional Bedouin “trilling” that they do. Quite the experience.

Live from Fruityville

There is definitely something wrong with the men in this country. I went for a run outside a couple of days after I got here and I noticed that just on the block that my hotel is located on, there are 9 or 10 men’s hair salons, or as they call them here, saloons. And they have some pretty goofy names, I even sent a picture of one to the Engrish blog.

I try not to jump to conclusions but I have my suspicions about a lot of the guys hanging around in the salons. They all prance around like a bunch of tulips; if they’re not getting their hair done they’re fawning over some dude who is. Pretty interesting. I have nothing against gay guys as long as they respect what I stand for, but with the people in this part of the world, it’s just odd how someone can be so at peace with themselves living with a duplicitous set of standards in life. On one hand, they profess to be so morally superior and condemn that sort of behavior. On the other hand, they act like a bunch of fruitcakes and many have told me over the years that it was men who were created to pleasure each other, women are just there to produce heirs. We had of problems in Afghanistan with the Afghans and man-love, but that’s another bunch of stories.

Anyway, life is good. Kuwait is boring as crap but I’m glad I’m in a nice hotel with a gym and a pool. Kind of a disorganized mess getting processed here but hopefully I’ll be on my way before too long.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying my heavily censored cable TV and internet, and sand. Lots of sand.

E Pluribus Pete

I’m pretty sure that I’m making the right decision by moving back to Afghanistan but it is really hard to leave here. People always say that you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone but over the past few days I’ve been getting a big taste of what I’ve had for so long and what I’ll be missing. So many people, including many that I’ve never met but that I’ve helped out via email or on the phone have all been coming up to me or calling and wishing me well and letting me know how much I’ll be missed here. I tried to keep my leaving on the down-low but even on short notice, I was very touched that a lot of the organizations and people that I’ve been dealing with over the years went out of their way to make me plaques, certificates, coins, and lots of personal gifts. I had to make a special trip to the post office today to mail it all home!

But more than anything I will miss some of those wonderful people that I work with. These dear friends with whom I have spent thousands and thousands of hours working mean so much to me. With them it’s like a big family where we all know each other well enough that we really don’t even need to do a lot of talking, but we all yell, laugh, and talk all day anyway. It’s a wonderful mix of people; Mexicans, Marines, Mormon (me), Macedonians, Kosovars, Bosnians, Georgia rednecks, the list goes on. It will be good to go through life and know that I have true friends in almost any corner of the world that I may find myself in.

The time has come to move on though. As has been proven countless times in my life so far, it doesn’t make any sense to say goodbye because I will be seeing you all again down the road somewhere. The world truly is a small place, and I’m grateful for that! Until we meet again!

Women...

What a week! In the past few months I have seriously gotten back into my gym rat habits, it doesn't matter how frustrating or stressful my day has been, a hardcore workout just drains all of that away and I sleep like a baby at night. I've been going to gyms ever since I was a little kid and my mom worked at an MWR. My brother and I used to tag along and just hang out and figure out what was what. I developed the habit over the years of being all business when I go, I don't go there to chase girls or try to impress anybody. For me, a gym isn't a social club, at least not until a week or so ago when I met an incredible girl there.

 

This girl is stunning. She is almost a spitting image of Ms. Goodnight from the old James Bond movie. But I didn't approach her as beautiful women have a way of complicating my life, especially over here. That habit is hard to break when I go home, my friend Nikki tells me I often come off as too aloof or uninterested. Here I try my best to keep to myself but after a few days of this girl coming to the gym she started talking to me, just saying hi at first, and then making small talk. Then she told me one day that she had made reservations at Sammy's, the Turkish restaurant, for us the following evening so we could get to know each other. I figured it couldn't hurt so I dug out a nice shirt and cleaned my boots and off I went.

 

The evening started off really well, we talked about so many different things and I found out that she's got two degrees from Penn State, a big dog, her own house, and a range of interests that seriously rivals my own. She is the kind of girl that every man dreams of when he imagines a good girl. Somehow the conversation drifted into the character traits that we look for in a partner. I felt pretty safe with my honest answer that rather than stereotypes, it is the unique qualities of the individual that are most attractive to me, and she seemed pleased with the answer. But as the conversation progressed, the change that came over her was startling.

 

In the matter of a few minutes she went from being a sweet, charming, and coyly beautiful girl to an angry quasi-feminist with an insatiable demand for chivalry from a man. In retrospect I suspect that she has watched way too much television and expects life to exactly conform to masterpiece theater type behavior. She complained bitterly about the men in her life who have been such jerks, guilty of the cardinal sins of being 15 minutes late or not pulling out her chair at a fancy restaurant. The list went on and on and it's hard to describe, but the change that came over her was so dramatic and sudden that I was at a loss for words.

 

I'll be the first to admit that I am guilty of being less than a gentleman at times but I grew up watching the way my father treated my mother and his example was a powerful one. I can not recall a single incident of him ever even raising his voice to her, or to any of us kids. Sure he didn't always do all the little things like opening car doors all the time, my mom is every bit a lady but she would have told him to knock it off if he tried. Through all of her health problems he has been there to care for her, bless her, whatever it took. She has always been his absolute first priority through everything. When he and I talk about what the future holds for him, he doesn't talk about how much fun it would be to do this or that; rather he says that my mom would enjoy doing this or that, and it's obvious that he's just along for the ride and to make sure that she's happy because that's what makes him happy.

 

I was thinking that this girl is so intelligent and amazing, so confident in herself that maybe it might do me some good to try to conform to her advanced notions of chivalry. The distinction between my date's idea of a gentleman and my impression of a true gentleman, my father, was something that I was trying to get my head around until I started writing it down and then I realized that I was being blinded by beauty.

 

After that enlightening dinner, we had one final activity together when she wanted to go to the pool and swim instead of going to the gym. I hadn't been to the pool here yet so I went along, amazing workout btw. But it was obvious that things had soured somewhat and being the smart girl that she is, she called me out on it and I told her that while I am open to improving myself, her demands are just too unrealistic. The hormonally charged portion of my mind that I try to keep under control was screaming in my head, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" as I watched her walk away for the last time…in her bikini. I so need to get out of this place!

The Confusion Feel-Goodies!

It has been an interesting few weeks in a number of ways. I received a very tempting job offer with a fat raise in Afghanistan a couple of weeks ago, and to my surprise, I was extended a calling at church not a day or two after I got the job offer.

 

The calling was quite interesting by itself; I'm the missionary services coordinator for my servicemen's group in an area where it is forbidden to actively proselyte at all. However I know that it is a real calling and not just a "busy title" and an excuse to speak during Sunday school. Then I was assigned to speak in Church on missionary work and I dutifully researched and prepared what I felt was a good talk. As I was preparing I was surprised at a lot of things that I had heard before but since forgotten.

 

It went quite well but before I had even finished speaking, a soldier that I recognized from somewhere came in and sat down in the back. He described himself as a wandering spirit and said that he was always interested in learning about new religions and after the meetings were over, we spent over an hour in the back just chatting about religion, family, old girlfriends, and he agreed to be taught about the gospel.

 

Just as he was leaving, myself and another soldier were preparing to close up the chapel when in came yet another soldier who asked us where he could get a bible to read. One thing led to another and he ended up tentatively agreeing to come to Church to be our pianist as we are losing our dear Sis. Jones, who btw if she weren't already married I would marry just to hear her sing all day. But what an experience!

 

I had wondered about this calling and whether or not it was something I should take seriously. In the course of 2 weeks I have gone from being totally excited to have a calling, to somewhat confused about the nature and purpose of it, to slacking and neglecting it because it felt pointless. But on the first day where I put forth a heartfelt effort by giving a prayerful and earnest talk on missionary work, this happened. Again, words fail me as I try to put my thoughts and feelings into words.

 

But the confusion continues. I am still awaiting final word on the transfer to Afghanistan. I could be out of here on Friday or Saturday but here I sit, planning missionary discussions. If anything it is quite a reminder that I need to better accommodate the Lord's timeline for things instead of the other way around. What to do, what to do?

My favorite holiday!

Halloween was fun once again! And even though some of our costume stuff didn't get here until the day after Halloween, it just means that we get to drag it out and have two days of being retarded. I decided to be a gorilla again this year and my co-worker decided to be a beer keg, both of us looked pretty rediculous in the misty pre-dawn darkness walking out to our bus stop to go to work.
 
One thing that I often forget is that there are so many people from so many countries here and most of them have't even heard of Halloween. I had a great time on the bus pounding on the windows and watching the shocked expressions on people's faces as we drove by, they had no idea what was happening, it was hilarious. And on the way to work my bus makes a couple of different stops to pick people up and in the early morning most people aren't quite firing on all cylinders just yet so I had a great time of jumping out at them as soon as they set foot on the bus, we got some great video of me getting punched and kicked by some frightened girls.
 
We also made our appearance at the Air Force ELRS party, wandered through the passenger terminal, the Green Bean, anywhere else that we could find a crowd. It wasn't until we got off work and were waiting outside to head home that I realized I had been wandering around meeting people, taking pictures, and even giving a piggy-back ride (she was cute!) all with my zipper down. Of course writing this reminds me of a few other embarassing zipper stories...that perhaps I'll share another time.
 
But the definite highlight had to be on the bus ride home after work.  Normally the guards will just hop on the bus and check everyone's paperwork and badges as we get back to our compound so because it was totally dark outside driver kept the inside lights off as we approached our security checkpoint. One of the little security guys from Nepal hopped up the stairs with his flashlight and I jumped out and growled at him only to see his face contort and eyes widen in horror as he let loose with a terrified shriek and jumped off the bus. We were all roaring with laughter and his two buddies who saw what had happened were almost on the ground they were laughing so hard. To his credit, the poor guy saw the humor in it all and started nervously laughing himself. It was a great ending to a wonderful and fun-filled day.
 
Life is good!