Bombers, birds, and....other people

Ahhhh, it’s been a quiet week for me. Two of my co-workers who seem to hate each other but insist on dating and talking about marriage are both on R&R together for a few weeks, it’s amazing how much less tension is in the air. To me it just seems to be common sense that if you want to date someone, much less marry them, it’s a good idea to actually like the other person, or at least have something in common with them…maybe that’s just me, I dunno haha.

Ooh and a few months ago my sister rescued a big beautiful blue and gold macaw, Tara, from some jackass who would keep it locked up with no food and a blanket over the cage all day. With a bit of gentle socializing from my folks, the bird really developed a whole new personality and was a lot of fun to play with when I was back on R&R. Unfortunately she made a huge mess everywhere she went and she would get rowdy and loud if nobody paid her any attention.

My mom had been looking for a good home for the bird and found a lady in my grandma’s church congregation out in Missouri that had been wanting a big parrot for a long time. She and my sister drove the bird out and delivered her to the lady. Normally the bird would just patiently sit on your shoulder as you walked around. My mom would do gardening and the bird would just wander around and explore the yard, my sister even wore the bird up to the airport to pick up a friend. For some reason though, Tara went nuts when she got to Missouri and immediately flew up to the top of the tallest tree in the lady’s yard and refused to come down for anyone. She stayed for 3 days until one of the neighbors with a cherry-picker and some peanuts coaxed her down. There’s no drama like parrot drama.





The other news is that I found perfect gift for my dad for Fathers day. He is kind of an airplane nut, I think it’s genetic. Anyway, one of the most amazing and strategically vital airplanes built during WWII was the B-17 bomber. The U.S. built thousands and thousands of these bombers and blew the crap out of Europe with them. It’s the same type of bomber flown in the movie “Memphis Belle”. Well there are only about 10 in the world that are still flying and one of them is going through Denver! I secretly bought a ticket for my dad to go take a flight in one and on the 6th of June, my mom is gonna drive him out to the airport and surprise! I just wish I were there to see it….and to get my own ticket and fly. That plane had better still be flying by the time I get back from over here.

Happy sort-of belatedly celebrated birthday Tito! Today is supposed to be some kind of (former)Yugoslavian holiday where they party and play sports, all of my Balkan buddies here are joking about it. It would be like the 4th of July of we did away with America...sad.

Every day is a day closer to the 4th of July!





Oh yeah, email me back, Ashlie!

Well in spite of feeling a little silly for writing about almost falling asleep in a porta-potty, here is a picture of the actual place where it happened! For the low one-time-only price of $39.99 plus $9.99 s/h, you too can have your own limited-edition framed and autographed copy of this picture. It comes in a generic government-issue wooden picture frame and has a detailed account of the entire event written in the fanciest font that MS word has to offer….ok yeah, not really.

I am bored to tears today. I sit here staring at some paperwork, chugging water, and resisting the urge to reach over and smack a coworker of mine. I think I’m still tired and that’s why my patience is somewhat thin. I wish that I could project my thoughts right now; I’d start thinking about how headphones were designed to be put on your head so you can listen to your music, not to be set on the desk and turned up so loud that everyone else hears it. I’d think about how the same Beyonce song 50 times a day for 14 months is getting old.

Ah well, I’m stuck here dreaming about R&R and how wonderful it’s going to be to sleep in without an alarm clock. I can’t wait!

Adventures in the land of John...

I hate days like today, I am sooooo tired! It’s miserable. I smile when my imagination conjures up the memory of my comfy and cozy bed, with its perfect pillows, 500 TC sheets, the darkness and peace of my room….ahhhhh….but then my mind realizes it’s a trick and I get a scowl on my face and everyone asks me, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” That happens about a hundred times throughout the day, bah.

On a related note, it got really hot here the past few days. It was up to over 110 yesterday, slightly cooler today. When it gets hot like this, I have to make adjustments to lots of everyday little tasks and routines. One of them is going to the bathroom. Haha, bear with me. Normally, the procedure is just to walk about a hundred yards across the grid to the porta potty and take care of business. It gets complicated in the heat because though it may only be a hundred or so outside, but inside it can be thirty degrees hotter! That hazard dictates a radically different procedure. Now I have to stop right outside the door and take a deep breath and run inside and hope that I can wrap things up before my breath runs out. Sometimes if somebody writes something of particular interest to me on the wall, I’ll run outside, catch my breath, and run back in and add my own commentary. Yes, it’s the little things that keep me amused and going over here.

Today was awful though, I was so tired that as I stood there takin' a whiz I leaned forward and rested my head against the wall in the porta potty and instantly my body thought that it was supposed to go to sleep. I didn’t quite get there but I gave out a big involuntary tired sigh and on the inhale I just about gagged and started choking on the foul air. Yeah, it just ruined the hour haha. Anyway, I’m about to pass out on my keyboard and I just thought I’d write something down to keep myself awake. Not working. I know I’m gonna look at this in the morning and laugh at my being an idiot.

Two-fer today

While I have never seen any place with sunsets as dramatic and awe-inspiring as Afghanistan, this place definitely has it's moments.

Grab 'yer walker, it's all you can eat tapioca!

Pete is one year older. Normally I'm extremely low-key about birthdays and for the past five years I've managed to get by without anyone but my folks knowing about them but somehow this time, the word got out...thanks boss. The guys and girls that I work with got some stuff together for me, even a little cake haha. On top of that, I got fresh boxers and socks from my mom, life is good. I had Chico take a picture of me with one of my Macedonian compadres feigning anger over my cheap gifts haha.

Speaking of birthdays and my mom, she absolutely cracks me up and I love her to death. Every year I get a new little "reminder" that I'm not getting any younger. This year she says that she and my dad went out and bought a classy old cradle with the hopes that I'll fill it up with little grandbabies someday. If they did in fact buy a cradle, I'm sure that she was the actual one who bought it. She just made my dad pay for it and carry it to the car. Women...

I need to talk to my brother and see if he gets the same speech. I have a feeling that she might be trying to foster some sense of competition between the two of us. Ha! But the joke is on her! Both of us are highly competitive but both of us are also in war zones. Before any sort of a baby-making competition could begin, he and I would first have to settle our unofficial competition to see who can work over here the longest. And I also get the feeling that he and I are trying to make the other one get married first. He's older, so he's got more to lose haha. But either way, if my mother does have some sort of nefarious scheme up her sleeve, she'll find it thwarted by the very nature that she is trying to capitalize on. My mom is fun to over-analyze.

Stuck in style

In keeping with the stuck on a desert island theme, I not only made a quick list of who I wouldn't mind getting stuck on an island with, but also a list of must-have items for Pete's peace and comfort.

These are not in any particular order:




I'm not Catholic but think the Pope is quite a gnarly guy. He speaks a million languages and best of all, I wouldn't have to kill him in a competition for the favors of.....





Ashlie! Where would my post be without the inspiration of the lovey Ashlie who makes the guys in my office think that I'm losing it as I snicker to myself in the corner while reading her blog. Being on an island would suck without somebody along who would be able to just see the adventure and fun in it all.




Rachel Ray! I really can't watch TV shows about cooking but I love this lady...and all of her creations. She reminds me of my old friend, Tara. Of course I would have to worry about her chasing after this guy...





I am proud of my handyman skills but who wouldn't want this guy around? By the time we got "rescued" our island would be a tropical resort that we could sell to the Phoenix Foundation to fund MacGyver's adventures.



Ok, on to the things that I want on my island:



This and lots of bullets. I never really watched very much of the show "Lost", but I remember them getting attacked by a polar bear, some child-loving hippies, and a mysterious black cloud. With the special limited-edition Hello Kitty AK-47, you would quickly get things under control and rule your island with an iron paw.





Us white guys don't do well at all in the sun, I'm not even gonna start with the peeling Peter jokes haha.


Most definitely a big dog like this one, I love big dogs! Come and try to steal my fire, hippies! You'll have to go through Puddles!




To better hunt those pesky white whales...



I am such a hammock freak, I love them! My mom always laughed at me when I would go out on a hike in the woods with a hammock, a couple of MRE's, and a book and not come back for a couple days. I just love the feeling of swaying in an ever-so-gentle breeze that whispers through the woods or over the beach as I gaze up at the treetops. It's strange but I feel as alive then as I do during the craziest of adrenaline rushes.



And finally...

I absolutely love to read. My book collection is huge and unless you read nothing but Twilight, I have enough variety that anyone would find something interesting to read. No desert island should be without a library.

Ice cream tales

I love how the world is such a small place. I just ran into an old friend from my days back in Germany in the dining facility last night. The odds of parting ways with people years ago and thousands of miles away and then having something bring everyone back together again seem astronomical; it’s always something of a trip when it happens and it has happened a ton of times here.

Back to my friend that I ran into, something that we had in common was a thing for ice cream. I don’t think we ever talked about it but we’d be on a roadtrip somewhere and stop for gas and we’d both come out of the gas station with ice cream. It was just one of those things. Well we sat in the dining facility watching a baseball game and catching up on old times and for some reason I was attacking the ice cream bar like a girl who got dumped. I don’t know why but I really don’t eat a lot of sugar or drink a lot of soda anymore so when I do too much, I really notice it. It took awhile but finally my stomach got my brain’s attention and I said, “Dude, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

As much fun as it was to see my buddy again, it sucked because I spent most the night all hyped up on a sugar high playing on my computer and didn’t even go to sleep until well after midnight. And right now this sucks, I am so tired. I guess that’s why I’m just randomly rambling on about everything….I had a dog named Mikki once…haha.

Oh and in other news, I explained things to my Filipino “girlfriend” about how she really isn’t. Even over something as impersonal as Yahoo IM I felt a bit awkward. I don’t know why I’m such a wuss when it comes to stuff like that haha, ah well. And Keebler, sure you can have her email. While I’m at it, here’s my sister’s email...moron.

Already I find myself looking forward to my next R&R. I just want to hop in my truck and head to the mountains again. I love sleeping out under the stars and having a campfire, I can’t wait. All of that and the promise of an exciting shooting adventure with Ashlie, I’ve got a lot to look forward to. Can’t wait!

Weatherman II -- The winds of Romance

Springtime is definitely keeping me guessing as to what clothes I need to be wearing to work everyday. I took both of those pictures a few days apart and each time, it only took a matter of minutes for each type of weather to roll in. Yesterday when this dust storm rolled in, it took about 2 minutes to go from clear with just a slight haze on the horizon to *wham!* 100 yard visibility. Other than having to constantly wipe everything in the office down every day, it’s a lot of fun.

And it has also been an interesting couple of days for me socially. On the way back here from my last R&R I happened to meet a very attractive and intelligent Filipino girl who worked at my favorite bookstore in Dubai. We had lunch at a little Chinese food place at the Emirates mall and just chit-chatted for about a half hour and then she gave me her email address and I headed off to catch my plane. I wrote a quick note when I got back here thanking her for having lunch with me, and that was it. The other day I got an email from a very excited girl that I don’t know telling me what a wonderful person I was and how lucky her best friend was to have me as a boyfriend…da da dun dum!

Contrast that with a girl that randomly popped up on my Yahoo IM yesterday. She said she was browsing profiles or whatever and we chatted for a few minutes when all of a sudden she starts asking all kinds of crazy questions. I clammed up a little and after I politely declined to answer a kinky question that I had never even considered before, I was pronounced a jerk “like all of the other guys I’ve known and loved…yada yada yada.” If this girl found out where I lived, I would definitely fear for my cat’s well being or maybe the paint job on my car. As entertaining as it was, its pretty lame at the same time.

The second problem was cured with the convenient“block user” option, but I still have to diffuse my situation with the seemingly very sweet but evidently thoroughly confused Filipino girl. I absolutely love the sensitive and delicate nature of women, but it complicates things sometimes .Even if this girl is somewhat naïve and confused, I still don’t relish the thought of inflicting any unpleasant truths on her. Ah well. Maybe I’ll say I’m gay or something, it worked for Mel Gibson.

At least I don’t have Myspace anymore, man the crazy girls who used to find me on there. I actually dated a few of them on R&Rs in the states and in Europe. Those dates almost never ended well but they were always extremely entertaining. I carried a passed out drunk girl for what seemed like 2 miles over my shoulder to drop her off at her house one time. That gets old. Like Bob Marley, it’s time for Pete to get “back to reality” with his dating prospects. The only problem is all the girls here carry automatic weapons and wear combat boots...

I woke up this morning and UGH! I have this crink in my neck.

*turns neck* OW! I hate everything to the right of me today.

I'm all about good hurtin' but this just sucks. I don't have any good stories or memories to justify it, bah. Pointless pain is the worst kind.

This is my all-time favorite vacation spot! Right at the edge of the Palatinate forest in Germany.





If for some reason I were ever to become privy to some sort of information that was of enough worth to someone that they decided to kidnap me for interrogation or torture, I will make it easy for them and tell them exactly how to go about it. I can laugh off broken bones and beatings just fine but the minute they put a speaker in front of my face and start playing “Hotel California” by the Eagles, I’ll snap! Either that or I’ll fly into some sort of Hulk-like rage and demolish everything in sight. Why am I so angry? Says Desi, “Lemme ‘splain you…”

I work with a couple of guys, they’re pretty good guys I guess but when you spend 12+ hours a day 7 days a week for months at a time with the same clowns, little things start to add up. Once I’m done here, the only person I want to spend that kind of time with would be my ideal future desert island companion haha. Or my cat.

One of the annoying habits that they both share is that they will listen to the same few songs ALL DAY LONG for months and months! They have taken some perfectly good music that I’ve always enjoyed and just massacred it through constant overdose. I don’t know what it is but when I hear the first few notes of “Hotel California” or Beyonce (never liked her anyway) hollering about how she’s got “one night only” from the Dreamgirls soundtrack, I just want to throw the speakers out the window. I seem to have absorbed through aural osmosis a couple of songs in Macedonian, I know a whole bunch of Miley Cyrus songs by heart (the older of the two guys is a 47 year old die-hard fan), and the David Ball song about Private Malone just makes me cringe.

It makes me wonder sometimes about the benefit of having IPods or in my case, a Zune, massive DVD collections, movies on-demand, and 24/7 news. I worry sometimes about overdosing on everything, that everyday reality is losing its ability to satisfy me. I just never want to get to the point where I go for a walk in the woods and I’m not entertained. And at 25, I’m entirely too young to be lamenting the fact that my future kids face the distinct possibility of growing up desensitized to the world around them. I guess I’m old already. I need a rocking chair, a lawn, and little kids to yell at. Help me find my good dentures and pass me my tapioca!