Ups & Downs

This past week has been a real bummer. I’d been so tired and stressed and I couldn’t really figure out why. Then we had a nice little rocket attack on Christmas Day after we had finished flying for the day, it killed one of our guys. Then the following day we had another rocket attack that nailed the laundry pretty good. Then last night we had another rocket attack that almost took out most of our senior leadership and interrupted me as I was taking a tough test for my engine rebuilding class at the end of an 18 hour day with about 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It was freezing in that maintenance shop!

My Christmas Day mission out to the mountains

I told my boss I was going to sleep in today though so he covered for me out on the flightline. A little extra sleep went a long way.

And now it is 2107 local time in Kandahar on New Year’s Eve 2010. Looking back on the past year I can only agree with the Grateful Dead on ‘what a long, strange trip it’s been.’

Holding a crashed airplane in my palm during the freezing dawn

The past 12 months have been quite a rush of new experiences. I have been so scared at times that I thought I’d digest my shorts backwards due to the pucker factor, I’ve laughed until my head ached or I blew a snot-bubble (I had a cold), I’ve mourned and cried for those who have been called home early, I’ve stressed and screamed and thrown rocks at camels, and I’ve secretly fallen in love with probably 100 beautiful girls that I’ve seen in line at the DFAC or the PX that I'll never get the chance to talk to or see again. In spite of the idiots and evil in the world and in light of all that is wonderful and beautiful, from hot girls with pretty smiles to cute kittens to rugged mountain ranges and gnarly stormy weather, I have to say that it is most definitely a wonderful time to be alive and experiencing life.

Gnarly weather in Kandahar

Looking back on everything this past year, I can’t help but be overwhelmed with gratitude for the impeccable wisdom and benevolence of my Father in Heaven. There is no way I can take credit for the opportunities for growth and learning that have been presented to me. Its one thing to have a lucky break or two, it’s quite another to lead a seemingly charmed life filled with the ongoing fulfillment of prophetic blessings received by way of the Priesthood. I don’t know why it is that some folks with so much more faithful than me have to stumble through life struggling with uncertainty and doubt as to what they should be doing while I seem to be bowling with bumpers in life. It’s not that I know where I’m heading but my pathway seems pretty well defined because even with all of the mistakes and stupid decisions that I make, I still seem to be taken care of.

This thought is both comforting and a bit disconcerting when I consider the old adage that God watches out for drunks and fools. I’m no drunk. 2011 for me will be the year of discovery. My goals for the year are not the usual token resolutions to go to the gym or finally take over the world. This year I’m going to try as hard as I can to develop and exercise my self control, to be as obedient and faithful as I can be, and to put to the test the irrevocable law that every blessing received is a result of some measure of obedience. If it turns out I’ve been enjoying a fool’s protection, well I remember what happened when my parents took the training wheels off of my bike here in mortality. I wonder what the spiritual equivalent of road rash and getting hit by lots of cars is haha. I’m both frightened and eager to see what kind of blessings that a faithful Pete will warrant.

So, for 2010, if I offended you, hurt your feelings, ignored you, punched you, yelled at you, threw a rock at you, dropped angry notes out the window as I flew over your village, didn’t say hello to you, or forgot about you, I’m sorry. My conscience has always been extraordinarily strong; my Jiminy Cricket is hopped up on steroids and energy drinks 24/7 and has the memory worthy of a Jeopardy champion. I will do better this year!

To my friends, my family, my coworkers, and the odd strangers that read this and write me, thank you for your support. Oftentimes when I come back after a stressful day, it’s so nice to see a note in my inbox from someone who just wanted to say hello and remind me that I’m remembered. In a mushy kinda way, that stuff really makes my day.

Goodbye 2010, you’ve been wonderful to me and I will miss you.