I am convinced that pigeons are about the dumbest animals on the face of the planet. This morning the bus that I was riding in creamed yet another pigeon, I was wide awake for it this time. Again, we were just bouncing along the road and I was listening to my music and I saw the dumb bird dive out of a tree 30 yards ahead and zoom out over the road and then veer sharply to the right and just kept flying dead on into the grill.
If the convoy of 20 trucks that were right in front of us wasn't enough to convince him that it was dangerous to fly down the road, the driver tapping his horn should've clued him in. Or perhaps he was doing the pigeon version of "Jackass", no doubt full of pigeon courage instilled by his macho little pigeon buddies cooing him on from the surrounding trees and fence posts. Sadly, his lack of knowledge concerning his own frailty when compared to the inflexibility of a composite bus grill compounded in it's effectiveness as an instrument of death in being accelerated by an engine proved to be his mortal undoing.
My only fear is that when he gets to the birdie afterlife, his own personal hell will be the torment from all of the other birds who have died and had something to show for it; the geese who brought down an A-320 in the Hudson, the doves who drove the former Vice-President to shoot his lawyer friend in the face, or the seagull who crashed into that F-16 over the Great Salt Lake years ago. How will he measure up? There isn't even a decent statue in this country that he could claim to have marked.
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