Monkey fun

I saw something today that really disturbed me, and it’s not something that I’d exactly write home to mom and dad about…so why not put it out here for the unhinged to appreciate?

I’ve never actually sat down and made a list of things that a man should never ever do. But if I did, way up there at the top right next to abusing a girl or robbing an old lady would be that a naked man should never fight another naked man. Unfortunately I was witness to that very act this evening.

The showers in my area consists of an elevated platform running down the middle of a tent with shower heads on either side divided by an aisle down the middle of the platform. Two very dim 40 watt light bulbs are all the illumination available and are encased in waterproof fixtures that have become coated with dust and grime on the inside that causes them to give everything a reddish-tinge and caste eerie shadows throughout the tent as they swing to-and-fro from the ceiling that shudders in the wind. Coupled with the nonexistent ventilation which results in the tent being constantly full of steam now that they’ve fixed the water heater, it feels like the cheap brothels you see in movies and third-world-countries.

So today I took a shower pretty late in the evening, just a couple of hours ago as a matter of fact. One of my friends goes to work at midnight so I’ve been staying up late and catching midnight chow with her when she wakes up. I was standing in the shower and washing the shampoo out of my hair when I heard a couple of guys yelling. People are always yelling about one thing or another so I just ignored it until I started hearing more people yelling and feet stomping and then some crashing of furniture. I poked my head around the edge of the canvas wall that keeps the showers from soaking the changing area and saw two naked dudes wrestling on the floor punching each other. A couple of other guys were in the area yelling at them to knock it off but seeing as how nobody had clothes on, they were all somewhat reluctant to jump into the fray to separate the two. The combatants continued thrashing around on the ground and knocking stuff over, finally knocking over one of the big metal 3-sink and mirrors units. The warm water was starting to taper off so I got back to my own business and ignored the guys. A few seconds after the loud crashing of the sinks, I heard an extremely angry guy yelling something as he walked into the tent. It went something like, “WTF is going on? Wha….OMG what the #@%*!*!*$&@ are you !*#@! doing #@*% ass naked fighting like a couple of #@%*!!! homos?” It turned out to be an Army 1SGT who happened to be walking by outside when he heard the commotion.

He screamed at them and they both jumped to attention along with all of the other guys who had been snapping towels and yelling at the two idiots. Rather than walk out and risk being asked to join the sausage parade I just toweled off and tried to keep from laughing as I listened to one of the more vicious but hilarious ass-chewings that I’ve ever heard. After a few minutes the 1SGT seemed realize the awkwardness of him facing off against a bunch of naked guys and with a few parting words expressing his disgust with all of them he left. It sure took the fight out of them though.

It definitely wasn’t something that I would ever care to see again but it was pretty funny. Sometimes I think that idiots are just here for everyone else’s amusement.